After years spent running and dieting, Casey Johnston stumbled on a Reddit post about weightlifting that transformed her relationship with her body.
For Johnston, running was punishing and not particularly fun. But she had seen it as a means to achieve the one goal that consumed her: not being fat.
She had absorbed the cultural message that the purpose of exercise was to make her as small as possible.
That's why, while scrolling through a weightlifting message late one night, Johnston was startled by how people who lifted talked about exercise.
"I don't lift to be hot. I lift to be strong," Johnston recalls one devoted powerlifter posting online. She found such a claim bewildering, disingenuous even.
"Liar," Johnston thought to herself.
Some readers might think the same about Johnston when they first pick up her new book: A Physical Education: How I Escaped Diet Culture and Gained the Power of Lifting. After all, isn't hotness the reason most people work out? Johnston readily admits that she was first drawn to weightlifting as another scheme to lose weight.
But in her book - part memoir, part science journalism - Johnston makes a captivating case for why strength training can offer so much more.
She writes movingly of how learning to lift weights helped her build emotional strength after leaving an abusive relationship and a toxic job. It helped repair her disordered eating and allowed her to enjoy food.
Most importantly, it changed her attitude about her own body, from one centered on denial of pleasure to a relationship that now embraces movement, rest and eating equally.
She discovered, she writes, that "my body could feel good to be in, powerful even. My body could do things."
Johnston spoke with NPR about her new book.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
Casey Johnston, author of A Physical Education: How I Escaped Diet Culture and Gained the Power of Lifting Elana Mudd hide caption
Why was it so hard for you to believe that the Reddit poster you write about was motivated by a desire for strength - not attractiveness?
The really short answer is just probably internalized misogyny. We can't accept that a woman would want anything, truly, other than to be hot.
I wanted to be honest that my motivation for getting into lifting was being fixated on preserving attractiveness, hotness and losing weight. It wasn't like, "I just want to try this thing because it seems fun." No, the honest thing is that I had tried everything [to lose weight], and it felt like nothing else was working. So strong is the impetus to continue to try to be as hot as possible, at all costs.
I think, hopefully, the rest of the book unpacks the transition from one to the other in as honest a way as possible. I want to let people know: I'm right there with you.
How did you start to think of exercise as something you do for your health and well-being, rather than to make yourself smaller? And what did you learn about how dieting effects muscle?
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